


A Whole New World

by RedOrchid



Category: Bandom
Genre: Abuse of Disney Movies, Depending on how dirty a mind you have, Gen, Gen or GSF, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-14
Updated: 2008-11-14
Packaged: 2017-11-11 00:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/472366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedOrchid/pseuds/RedOrchid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan decides to open Brendon's eyes to the fact that the big love duet in <i>Aladdin</i> is really a dirty sex song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Whole New World

**Author's Note:**

> Do not read if you love _Aladdin_ as much as Brendon Urie does.

”Aladdin? Again? Bren, what is this, the five-trillionth two-hundred and fourty-sixth time this tour?”

“Jeez, Ryan, those are some impressive math skills. I knew you were obsessively in love with me and all, but I didn’t think it extended quite that far. I’m touched.” He grins, wide and winning. It’s kind of obnoxious.

“Asshole. Just so you know, this,” he points to the screen, “is like the dirtiest sex song ever.”

Brendon’s head snaps up from where his eyes had been glued to the magic carpet’s movements, and the look of pure, enraged incredulity on his face is quite possibly the funniest thing Ryan has seen for a long time.

“Dude! Don’t say such things. I swear to God, I’ll call the police and have you arrested for that thing Pete always moans about, when girls tell the papers that they saw him fucking fifteen groupies, the other guys in his band and a squeaky rabbit in the back alley behind a venue.”

“Slander?” Spencer chips in helpfully, coming back from the kitchen with Jon trailing behind him, both of them falling into relaxed, scruffy heaps on the couch.

“Yeah, exactly. _Slander_ , Ryan. And I’ll do it too, so don’t tempt me.”

Ryan laughs, and beside him, Jon and Spencer are snickering too. Brendon seriously hates all of them sometimes.

“Slander requires the given statements to be grossly untrue,” Ryan smirks, continuing to needle Brendon. “This isn’t.”

“Fuck you, Ryan! _A Whole New World_ is not a dirty sex song. It’s romantic and sweet and pure!” It comes out louder than intended, but _dammit_ , there are limits to his self-control.

“Sorry, Bren, but it really isn’t. Jon? Help me out here?” The all-knowing smirk Brendon hates-so-much-it’s-not-even-funny is still etched firmly on his face. Brendon kind of wants to rip it off (or kiss it away, or you know, whatever—huh).

“No, Jon, you’re supposed to side with me in this!” he exclaims, because really, Ryan is not turning Jon to the dark side—over Brendon’s dead body.

Jon just shakes his head sadly, and Brendon’s stomach drops. “I hate to tell you this, man, but Ryan is actually right. It’s totally a dirty song.”

“Is not!”

“Is too.”

“Is _fucking_ not!”

“Erm, guys,” Spencer breaks in from his position against the armrest. “Not that this isn’t funny and all, but the ‘is not,’ ‘is too,’ tend to get old real fast with you. Ryan, if you’re set on body-slamming Brendon’s world view to the ground and grinding it into the mud while you’re at it, just fucking do it already, okay? I’m tired.”

Ryan bites his lip for a moment, as though hesitating to go on. Brendon pouts at him, still affronted, and Ryan laughs, reaches for the remote and presses ‘pause.’ The singing stops, and the room is quiet apart from the rhythmic, rolling sounds of the bus beneath them.

“Jon?”

“Fine, man, but you’re singing the girly parts.”

“No way. You’re the freak with the high falsetto, and no matter what the fans say, I’m way manlier than you.”

Jon barks out a laugh and gets up from the couch, joining Ryan in front of the TV.

“Ryan Ross,” he says teasingly, putting the smallest hint of prowl in his step. “I didn’t know you liked to top.”

“Well, keep wishing on that lucky, lucky star and I just might update your incomplete knowledge sometime,” Ryan deadpans. His eyebrow is raised in the patented, sarcastic I’m-mocking-you-you-moron-gesture, but his eyes are sparkling, and Brendon can tell that he’s enjoying this.

“Is that a promise?” Jon grins, taking another step closer. “Alright, fine, I’ll be the princess this time.”

Ryan moves over to one of their guitars and plays a few chords, trying out the key. “This one okay?”

Jon nods, and Ryan opens his mouth for the first notes. Before he can get through even the first line, Spencer interrupts them.

“Hey, no, if you’re doing this, do it right. The first part is totally killing.”

Ryan looks confused for a minute, and then his expression clears, and it looks like he really has to fight to keep his face straight. Brendon waits, mutinous, arms crossed and hoodie pulled up over his head as he slouches low in the couch, watching Ryan walk up to Jon and extend his hand.

“Do you trust me?”

Jon replies with a breathy Jasmine ‘yes,’ and Spencer breaks down into actual giggles. Brendon glares at him.

“Oh, come on, dude,” Spencer says, pulling himself together. “How many high school movies have you seen over the years? Jon is totally going to lose his virginity in the back of a car.”

Brendon is horrified. He looks from Spencer (who’s still laughing, dammit!) to Jon, who’s tilting his head a little, giving Ryan a look that seems to be saying ‘really, Ross, the back of your car? That’s the best you can come up with?’ Ryan’s lips twitch, but his eyes don’t waver as he begins to sing, wrapping his voice around the familiar words.

_I can show you the world,  
Shining, shimmering, splendid…_

(He’s lowered the key a little, his voice huskier than Scott Weinger’s, and if Brendon’s eyes subconsciously drift to his mouth for a second or two, that’s why, no big. Except Ryan’s kind of stroking the back of Jon’s hand with his thumb, and, huh, that is pretty hot.)

 _Tell me, princess_ ,

(Ryan emphasises the word a little more than necessary, and Jon winks at him, smile wide.)

_Now when did you last  
Let your heart decide?_

_I can open your eyes,_

(Ryan is moving closer now, sliding behind Jon’s back, chin on Jon’s shoulder, words sung soft and sweet against the side of his face as Ryan’s arms comes around him from behind and his hands begin to wander teasingly down the row of button’s of Jon’s shirt.)

_Take you wonder by wonder,_

(His fingers reach the edge of Jon’s jeans, slipping underneath the shirt, pulling the fabric up a little.)

_Over, sideways and under,_

(The inappropriate emphasis is back again, effect multiplied by a million as Ryan punctuates each word with a slide of his hand over Jon’s crotch, mimicking the teasing directions, wrapping it up by softly cupping Jon’s balls and pressing his hips firmly into him.)

_On a magic carpet ride…_

(Jon’s head falls back against Ryan’s shoulder as the darker boy launches into the chorus, grinding his hips against Jon’s equivocally, and Brendon can only stare, speechless at the scene unravelling in front of him.)

_No one to tell us ‘no,’_

(Ryan bites softly into Jon’s shoulder, pulling a muffled moan from the bassist’s throat. Beside him, Spencer has gone very, very still.)

_Or where to go,  
Or say we’re only dreaming…_

(Jon nearly misses his cue, voice faltering on the first couple of notes before he gets into it, still in his full voice, saving the falsetto for later.)

_A whole new world,  
A dazzling place I never knew…_

(He turns in Ryan’s arms, singing to him, touching him, dragging his fingers through Ryan’s hair as the other boy joins in, voices harmonising together in the mixed parts.)

_Now, I’m in a whole new wo-orld…_

_Unbelievable sights,_

(Jon is really getting into it now, switching their positions to move behind Ryan, opening the buttons of his jeans with big, showy movements so they can all see the green and white of Ryan’s boxers through the open flap.)

_Indescribable fe-e-lings,_

(Jon slips a hand inside, squeezing, and Ryan throws his head back, a breathed ‘fuck’ slipping past his lips, which is definitely not part of the lyrics.)

_Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
Through an endless diamond sky!_

(Ryan cracks up, shaking with laughter as he tries to sing on, pulling Jon’s hand out of his pants and pressing the fingers to his lips.)

_A whole new world!_

(Jon brings out the falsetto, and Brendon shivers slightly. It’s just really good, okay? The pounding feeling in his chest has nothing to do with the way Ryan slips two of Jon’s fingers into his mouth as he softly murmurs _Don’t you dare close your eyes,_ raising an eyebrow at him suggestively. Really, it doesn’t. Next to him, Spencer is still far too quiet, even for him. Brendon can hear him swallow, as though his throat is suddenly far too tight.)

_A hundred thousand things to see._

(Ryan pushes Jon to his knees, tilting his face up with a firm hand in his hair.)

_Hold your breath—it gets better…_

“Dude!” Brendon rediscovers some of the righteous anger that seemed to have fucked off completely there for a while, because really, that’s taking it too far.

(Beside him, Spencer snaps out of some sort of trance and smiles in a way that’s a little too self-assured for Brendon to actually believe it.)

_I’m like a shooting star,  
I’ve come so far,_

“How far?” Spencer singingly interjects, and Brendon hits him over the head, because cum jokes in Brendon’s favourite Disney song? That’s crossing a fucking line.

_A whole new world…_

(It gets steadily more horrifying after this, Ryan and Jon harmonising over turns that are a surprise, red letters and new horizons to pursue, every note accompanied by some sort of movement that should definitely not be allowed in the G-rated Disney environment of the song. Brendon’s in shock with every phrase. It’s like he’s dying inside, unable to feel the ground under his feet anymore, the bright colours that the music normally triggers in his head changing and twisting, growing into something darker and thrumming, especially when Ryan looks at him and smiles—and how did he never notice these undercurrents before, anyway?)

(Because he was pure and innocent, that’s why. Fucking Jon Walker breathing out _Let me share this whole new world with you_ like it’s a fucking proposition for a no-limit deal on his ass, and completely wrecking Brendon’s bright and sunny world.)

_A whole new world  
That’s where we’ll be  
(That’s were we’ll be)_

(Ryan puts a hand at the small of Jon’s back and pulls him close, their foreheads touching. Next to him, Spencer makes a small, choking sound.)

_A thrilling chase,  
A wondrous place,  
For you and me…_

They don’t kiss. Brendon was so sure they would, but Ryan just slides his forehead against Jon’s, turning his face to look right into Brendon’s eyes, still holding out the last note in a low hum. And… _oh._ Yeah, okay. Yes. That’s… okay.

He’s out of the couch in a heartbeat, practically ripping Ryan away from Jon and tackling him to the flood before any kind of coherency has the possibility to set in. Words of ‘Ryan-Ryan-oh-God-yes-fuck-Ryan’ are spinning in his head as he wrestles his friend to the ground and proceeds to attack him with everything he has. Ryan makes a surprised yelp when Brendon collides with him and a loud ‘Ouf! Brendon, careful, fuck!’ as they tumble to the ground.

Brendon kisses him harder.

***

He’s managed to get his hands half-way into Ryans pants (not a very difficult task, seeing as they were already open—fucking _Jon_ ) when someone clears their throat theatrically loudly above them. Brendon doesn’t even flick them off. His hands are better employed at the moment, thank you very much.

“Dude, you completely stole my prince!” Jon exclaims mock-angrily (but Brendon can tell he’s actually laughing). He lets go of Ryan’s lips and pulls away briefly, taking the opportunity to breathe.

“Serves you right,” he replies, taking further advantage of the lack of lip-lock to pull Ryan’s shirt off. “You fucking wrecked my favourite song, you bastard. Besides,” he adds, sentence interrupted by a moan as Ryan latches on to his neck, “you still have Spencer.”

“I do, don’t I?” Jon says casually, and Brendon can hear him moving away, presumably over to the couch where Spencer is still sitting. Not that he cares much, because, seriously, _Ryan_. With a hand down his pants. _Jesus._

“Spencer Smith, do you trust me?” Jon asks, voice low and caressing.

“No fucking backseat,” the blond replies sternly, arms still crossed over his chest. “I’m way too classy to have sex in a crappy, old car.”

Jon’s smile widens. “How about the back lounge?”

Spencer grins and takes his hand.

THE END


End file.
